So this is what it is. a boulder to drag around. ball and chains. ever dream of returning to childhood? that web of dreams spun by the lies of nostalgia? have you forgotten the pain, the insecurity, the lack of freedom, the tyranny of adults, the suffocation of stone age education?

where do you go now? art? literature? they make it worse. they expose your soul so you can see the maggots eat their way right through to the rotten core of human nature.

politics? social movements? you better shut your ryes tight. or else the ruthless, relentless violence and bigotry of political hubris will wear you down in no time.

there used to be a little imaginary island of detached contemplation, of intellectual meditation  far removed from the mess of human filth. they used to call it natural philosophy. but i can see it being cut into pieces, wrapped into packages and being sold to the highest bidder in the marketplace of global capitalism. where do we go now?